March 19, 2006

Mourning, knitting, getting by

I wake each morning with a sense of loss, a sense of something or someone missing. Its quiet, too quiet. Its eery an almost empty house 'cept the two of us. I've longed to go and bring the mogs home, its been such a physical yearning to go get them. I haven't because I think that would be the cruellest thing for them if they are settling into a new home, a new routine. I have been better allergy wise so it was them. Not itching or wheezing the same at all. I spoke with an allergy doc the other day and apparently each cat is different to the next. Some can set off allergies most don't. A drawback of the modern centrally heated house and cats that are stay at homes is they moult more often, much more often. No way to stop that except cool house and I'm unable to function if the house is cold. My joints seize up even more than normal, I ache and burn with pain. So that was out.
I'm not going to see the mogs for a few weeks til they have settled in, although I'm getting progress reports from their new owner, plus others. They seem to be enjoying the new place very much. Thanks so much for all the thoughtful messages, I really appreciate them.
I've been knitting a lot. Here are a couple of photos. First is a bigger bag in Noro, second a throw Cavendish in noro. That is still on the needles.
I'm starting spring cleaning, well actually if we are being strictly honest. I'm telling DH what needs to go out of all the junk we keep. If we are to move( and I'm hopeful that will be sooner than later, goddess willing) then some of the accumulated stuff will be going. I'm thinning down the belongings, less to move, less to find new homes for in the new home. You know I never ever thought I'd leave this house, I love it and the area and thought that would be us for ever. BUT, large , very large , garden here makes so much work for DH, its almost a full time thing spring til autumn and it takes the fun out of it. I can't help with my health stuff so its down to him. And I want him to have time for fun, time to take a cycle ride if he wants, time to just do what ever is in his mind. So herewith reason number 1
reason number 2 some place else is calling me. Charles de Lints book someplace to be flying- well this could possibly be my someplace to be flying, my heart place. If I don't try it I won't know will I? DH is very keen which surpirsed me. When I first mooted it a while ago it got a poor response. Then last time we visited it suddenly grew on him:))
reason 3. children are grown up, doing their own thing. Grandsons are not needing us as much. They can come for holidays when they wish.
reason 4 just because
So yes I'm getting by, I'm grieving but I'm making plans, I'm knitting, I'm moving forwards with looks back


dreamcatcher said...

I'm sorry that the allergist confirmed what you had suspected - hope you can go to visit the mogs soon :-(

Good luck with your house-moving activities. You sound like you have some place special in mind!

Love the bag and the throw.

Wye Sue said...

Your bag is wicked - what pattern is it ?
Sorry about your loss of four legs, at least you know they have a good home and you are feeling better.
Good luck with moving, I didn't clear out before I moved a few years ago, removal men didn't like my 70 boxes ! Not bad considering I live alone, but do collect books, yarn, material, jigsaws....

Woolly Wormhead said...

So sorry Amber that you've had to let the cats move on. It is so, so hard to let go of them, isn't it? Am just flashing back to when my last cat died - at the time it was just the 2 of us, and we were so close. I was heart broken. Can feel the tears now.

Yours are in a new home, with lots of space and you know how they are.

You need to focus on you now.

Hugs xxxx

Poetry for Brigid Imbolc

  The Lake Isle of Innisfree BY  WILLIAM BUTLER YEATS I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree, And a small cabin build there, of clay a...