Did you miss me?

I'm back in the land of the blogging although it will be sporadic. I think I may need to have one of those banners, BWO (blogging without obligation)
I am not well my pain threshold has been reached and passed more times than I chose to think about. I did enjoy the trip to the Isle of Man with my daughter and grandsons, it has been so long since I last visited and it was good. I didn't sleep much while away and I'm catching up now.
We had 3 nights there and it was excellent. The hotel was top class and we had a room with balcony overlooking the harbour. This was our birthday treat from DD , a thoughtful gift and one we appreciated.
I haven't done much knitting, not been well enough to. Same reason I haven't blogged, it hurts too much most of the time.
Lammas is approaching and despite it being a festival of harvest I always think of it as a dark festival as well.
It is the end of the light half of the year and beginning of the dark half and as far as I am concerned that means death in one form to allow rebirth.
My moon card was death yesterday and at first I shivered at what it could mean.
When common sense returned I realised it is tied in with Lammas and also with the dark moon, beginning of new moon.
I used to fear the death card in tarot and in my moon cards, superstition and ignorance as I hadn't thought through the death/rebirth cycle.
We can't have rebirth or new growth without saying goodbye to something. It is a balancing act.
So what does this increased pain show? Does it say even more loss of mobility will bring in something and if so what? Will it be good or bad?
All very mysterious and I'm not ok with it by any means. I think it is the out of my control aspect that I mainly dislike. I want to feel in control of all my life and I know that isn't feasible but I can still want it:)
So Lammas approaching then. How will you celebrate it?
I don't know what we will do, I'm leaving it flexible and in the hands of the Goddess how she wants me to celebrate this year.