Rituals

Whatever path we follow we all have rituals. They may be something simple such as the morning routine of get up, shower etc.
They may be complex magical rituals involving hours of preparation.
They may just be a necessary thing on a traumatic day

I have always taken socks to knit to Mr Mogs hospital appointments. I started when he first had radiotherapy and have continued through the years of checkups. It doesn't feel right not to have a sock on The needles.
I always felt that the continuing good news was helped by my maintaining a ritual sock knit.
Tomorrows appointment is a little (a lot) more traumatic than usual.
If the psa has risen at all then a decision needs to be made regarding mri scans, bone scans and the like.
Then if those results confirm the psa score a decision on chemo. All a little if and if but I prefer that. It isn't cut and dried there is hope and there is positive thinking.

Part of that positive thinking involves this little ritual of sock on needles.
An easy enough ritual for a person to carry out
No?

All positive thoughts welcomed please as always

Writings

I wanted to write about writing today.

I have not done my Morning pages for quite a while now, long before Christmas. I always used to do 3 pages of writing before I got up in a morning. It helped to get rid of the dross in my head and free my mind for creativity. I'm not sure why I stopped. I suspect a combination of pain, worries over Mr Mog and other stuff going on. Who knows why you stop a practice?

 

In the past I haven't sweated too much over missing a day or two, after all it is no good doing something if the time isn't right.

But I realised 2 days ago that I missed it. I missed that meditational aspect of writing anything that came into my head.

 I suspect some of my reluctance came from the dark mornings, putting off doing something because it is dark. It hasn't helped me any. My head gets full of stuff and there is no room for creativity and beauty.

 The muse prefers it if you concentrate when she calls. I know that I always feel better when I have done my pages. The knitting and spinning are other forms of creativity but the forming of words and sentences has always been my first love.

 I want to recapture some of the journalling joy. The joy of the written word, the poetry of sentences. The outpourings from the poetic side of my brain.

 It is still there, it has just been hibernating for winter's dark withdrawal time. A chance to sleep and recoup energies and inspiration ready for the first bud.

 The first snowdrop dancing in the dark wet soil. A reflection of the moon's pale splendour here in the earth.

 Solitary ones spotted at first, then whole clumps dancing in the wind. A beacon of hope and of summer warmth to come.

 Then as other flowers show their heads the snowdrops retreat into the ground to be nurtured through spring,summer and autumn ready to begin their dance as winter returns once more.

 I hope my returning muse is like the snowdrops, a little to begin with then pages full of joy and inspiration.

 Imbolc is just around the corner now and I can't wait. I don't want to wish my days away but I want this turn of the wheel. I want it to bring good things, a staying of the disease for Mr Mog. A chance to enjoy  many more days together in the returning sun and light.

I have started back on my studying also. My tarot cards are out once more and not just the daily card I always chose from my Wild Spirit pack but a new tarot. One sent for Yule, a gift from my friend Pixie.
The Gaian Tarot by Joanna Colbert.
Pixie and I had spoken about this a long while ago when Joanna first started to create the pack. Both taken with the imagery and both thinking of purchasing it when it was no longer a limited edition pack but a more accessible one.
To be honest I had forgotten but Pixie hadn't. It was such a surprise to open my Yule gift and find this . I have only nibbled at the edges but intend to work with the cards and see what comes of it.
I've also been delving in the library by my chair and pulled out other books, colour healing, numerology to name but 2. No idea why again but why not?
No preconceived ideas just going where the Goddess takes me.

A follow up

BW those are not teal Hotter. I painted them myself with various colours of lumiere paints and in real life more of a sea green/turquoise. They do have quite a few navy shoes in at the moment?  Plus if you go to an outlet store such as the ones in Gretna and Morecambe they can be purchased for around £30. If the colour isn't you you can always paint them with acrylics as I have done.The colour stays on with the lumeires and they polish beautifully with a clear shoe cream. There is also the added advantage that you can always change the colour at a later date. None of mine were anything like the colours they are now.
Ashling, good to see you comment. The link to the Cyberslam poetry is here
cyberslam poetry for brigid
Today is a day of promise. A day for creativity I think. Will it be writing, knitting, spinning or something else?
Who knows ? I await the Muse

Colour me a rainbow

Sometimes we need a little more colour in our lives. It helps to counter the darkness of the days at this time of year. I don't know what it is like with you but the past 7 weeks  we have had around 4 days of sunshine and no rain. The rest of the time it has rained at least part of each day.

 So I thought you might like to see some of the colour I've been surrounding myself with. 2 shawls done in lace weight mohair, kid merino from Crystal palace to be exact. Both also beaded another new technique for me and one I found extremely difficult with my joint problems. I do like the finished shawls though and they are so light it is unbelievable. They also fit through my wedding ring:)
The next ones may seem a little odd.
I have lots of trouble getting shoes to fit with my joint problems ,again.  One of my legs and foot is extremely swollen all the times and normal she's are difficult to find. That is one of the reasons I have my rainbow boots. But look what I found in Hotter, shoes that fit and are extremely comfortable. I purchased several pairs as I had vouchers from family which helped with the cost. The last Hotter shoes I had finally wore out after around 13 years so if these are anything like it will be money well spent. I can't tell you how fantastic it is to have comfortable shoes that even look good. They weren't these colours when I purchase them though.
I thought a coat of lumiere paints would brighten them up and they have.

 What do you think?

 Is this a BW blue do you think?

 I wasn't too sure so did a couple of pictures of this pair to check it out.

I can very rarely have shoes with straps with my fat leg and foot so I feel like a child in a sweetshop wearing these.

Wouldn't you?

So what else has been going on chez Moggies?

Mr Mog has been busy constructing his model railway and it looks good. We now have a timber yard on there and coal place. I think he actually prefers the landscaping and the building to running trains and why not?

We are going to York next week and one of the first places to visit will be the National Rail Museum. Mr Mog has never been to York despite being a bus /coach driver so a first for him. We were supposed to be going before Yule but had to cancel due to the virus I had.  I haven't been in 20 odd years but hope it is as good as it used to be. If anyone has any suggestions of places to visit please do let me know.

The week after next is the decision time oncology appointment. If Mr Mog's PSA is up again then they want to do a bone scan/mri etc to see where it is and if it has spread any more. If it has then chemo awaits. As you can imagine we are both working on positive energy that the PSA hasn't risen and that he can stay on the present 2 sets of medication. All positive energy received gratefully.

It is getting time to do a ritual cleanse of the house and boundaries, brushing away all negative energies and making space for positive spring energy to find its way here. Checked I have sufficient frankincense and lemon for the job. I will do it shortly before Imbolc then the new awakening seeds of creativity have somewhere to grow. I've already seen my first snowdrops, really early this year. Normally I have to scout around trying to see them for Imbolc itself, not this year they are all coming up already.

There is something truly magical and encouraging about snowdrops . Year after year they work their way to the surface through the worst of winter and shine like a beacon of hope .

And it is almost time for this,  

Annual Cyberspace Poetry Slam for Brigid

 will you be participating? I will again and I love following all the links to  poems in honour of Brigid.

Today had mostly been....

Today has mostly been waiting in for parcels to be collected and visitors to turn up.
I was going to put up pictures of my latest shawls but blogger doesn't want to play. It may be coming up time to move my blog elsewhere in the new year and suggestions of web hosts would be much appreciated.

So the parcels:-
Firstly a printer going back to amazon. Supposedly wireless but doesn't like to be so. It is a few months old but I don't print much so it was only the past few days that I realised printer plus iMac were not a happy couple on either wireless or cable.
After several goes at fix rounds I have given up and back it goes.
The second thing going back to the same place is a Roberts cd player. Mr Mog rather fancied a cd player as we haven't had one in quite a while. We tended to use the iPod or put CDs through the tv. The only problem with that is that you have a blue screen whilst playing. He did his research and decided on a Roberts . Seemed ok after first few plays where it ate the cd and wouldn't let it go for a while. Then this Yule Mr Mog was playing a favourite cd, medicine dance by Stairway, and it would not eject at all. We tried turning it off, unplugging, you name it we tried it. I looked on the Internet and someone suggested turning it upside down,that didnt work either. Because the cd goes in a slot there was no way to get it out . Back it goes and mr Mog is going for a cheap top loader player. Fortunately amazon are very good at refunds or replacements and that is one of the reasons we use them.
There was a third parcel awaiting collection.
Mr Mog ordered me a schacht matchless spinning wheel for Yule . Schacht changed the design of the wheel construction so there was some delay in it's arrival. It seemed it wouldn't be here until end of January as they wanted to get the new design sorted. The wheel actually arrived just a couple of days before Christmas and looked good. Mr Mog set it up and we had a go spinning some bfl. That seemed ok but as soon as I started to spin a merino silk mix it keep throwing off the drive band. We tried all sorts of things to make it work, even rang the production team in USA . Their suggestion? Sand the bobbins, sand the groove on the wheel. Now I don't know about you but this was a new wheel, would you want to get sandpaper to it? I didn't. The dealer we got it from offered to replace it and we said we would keep til after Christmas and try again with it. Mr Mog put it all back together and we tried again. It still wouldn't keep the drive band on.
On close inspection to use the wheel in double drive , which is my preferred spin mode, the band and bobbin don't line up correctly. I think scotch tension would be fine but that isn't what I want to use. I don't want another as I think it will be the same problem so that too went back today.
We were also supposed to get visitors on their way home from Cumbria, they haven't arrived .

But the day hasn't been wasted I have been spinning bright coloured fluff.
Today is the anniversary Of the death of Mr Mogs aunt, the one he as very close to, as was I,we have had a candle lit all day in her memory. She is often in our thoughts and we miss her very much.

I have been knitting beads and fine yarn, both new to me methods. The shawl I finished weighed just 31 gms without the beads and is still light as a feather with beads on.

Winter Solstice

As we reach the longest night/shortest day of the year Yule is here. Tonight's dark will very soon give way to the light and the days will begin to lengthen once more. We will have all our lights out and reflect on the dark inner time of year before starting to light candles one by one to symbolise the return of the light. I hope your Yule and Winter Solstice brings you peace and a renewal of energy as the light returns once more.
Mr Mog went to hospital Monday and I'm afraid his PSA is up once more, only .3 but none the less the third month of it rising. After both Mr Mog and I told them how he still feels good within himself they have decided not to change treatment this time. He has to go back in 6 weeks and if the PSA has risen at all then a full body scan and a change of treatment dependent on the scan results.We know that chemo is inevitable but the longer it can be delayed the better as to be honest after chemo I don't think there are any other options except palliative care.
Mr Mog is a determined b***ar and if he or I have our way it won't be needed just yet. After all it is 7 months since the 12-18 months left diagnosis was given and he has not started chemo which is fantastic.
I think I was more upset, or showed it more, than Mr M did when they said the PSA score, but you know you have to put it behind you and look forward. Otherwise you wouldn't live but just exist.

We decorated the tree when we got home from hospital ready for Yule and after tomorrow we will look forward to Christmas with good friends and family. After that there is New Year then ? who knows but there will be something else to plan and look forward to.

I am only human(VBG) so I know that my positive face may slip but I can put it back.

And Mr Mog? He is frustrated because of the damp days preventing his fettling the outdoor railway. Otherwise he is the same old moggie.
We had a day with friends yesterday dyeing and eating, chatting and generally having fun. That helps.

And you?

Finally, the winner

I have been very remiss and I apologise. I did say I would choose the winner of the shawl giveaway on the 8th December.
There has been a lot going on chez Moggies so I have been distracted. Add in that today is oncology day for Mr Mog and it may help explain. So sorry about the delay and without further ado the winner is:-



Very Lazy Daisy:)
can you contact me with your address please? if you comment and leave your email address I won't publish the comment but will be able to contact you.

So what have we been up to this past few weeks? Looking back not a lot but lots going on. It took around 5 weeks for the viral infection to finally leave but of course having 2 lots of antibiotics, 2 lots of steroids and a steroid inhaler left its mark on my body. I've had lots of fresh fruit and vegetables and lots of live yogurt to combat it.

Mr Mog has been busy reorganising his railway both in and out of his shed. He has been waiting for several weeks now for a couple of dry days to paint the outside line area and relay the lines. Unfortunately I don't think we have had a day without rain for over a month. He is quite frustrated by it as you can imagine.

He is keeping well as far as we can tell although the Oncologist will prove or disprove that this lunchtime.  We try not to worry about his visits although being human the night before and the actual day are always a little fraught.
The spinning still continues to hold us both in thrall and there is something very relaxing about sitting spinning as dusk falls with good music on the player.
I've been making shawls, nothing new there then:)
But I seem to be being drawn to the dark side of shawl knitting, very reluctantly but firmly.

First I thought I'd maybe like to try lace weight. Talk about shock horror. This from the person who said she would NEVER knit finer that 4ply.
Don't ask me why I want to go finer, I suspect it is just the challenge but who knows. I didn't have any lace weight yarn in the house but some friends thought they better encourage the path diversion and forced a skein of lace yarn on to me. They were just a tad too late however as when the urge came I just had to start knitting there and then. I searched the stash and found some Crystal Palace kid merino, very fine and slightly haloed. Probably as it is a mix of nylon, merino and mohair. As you may or may not know I've always had a love affair with mohair.
So the yarn is fine and very soft. I'm only on my second ball of it, they are 25g balls. The shawl is nearly finished. I did my own pattern for it and there will be pictures soon I promise.

BUT
not content with lace knitting I have gone a wee bit further. I also wanted to try beading.
I've threaded around 200 beads onto another ball of the yarn and intend to do the border with occasional beads.
Am I foolish? Most probably, I mean to say why try two new ideas at the same time and both of them challenging?
But there you go I suspect it may only be an occasional foray into the dark side but who knows? The muse calls and I follow her beacon wherever it takes me.

Yule or Winter Solstice is very nearly on us and we are putting up a tree and some sparkles this afternoon after the hospital. Have all our candles ready for the moment of dark turning into light. A time when we put out all the lights then start to light candles one by one to honour the return of the Sun King and the lighter days. What are you doing?

I had a few great ideas for painting Dorothea and I did as they suggested. Thank you:)

 I telephoned our local garage and asked if they could help me with the spraying. I mentioned that I intended to take Dorothea to various wool festivals to display the shawls etc we have on sale for the Air Ambulance fund raising.

 They very kindly took on the task of spraying her and doesn't she look great? The colour is a platinum silver and perfect for displaying shawls.

 Mr Mog thought she needed some lights for Yule and she has the latest shawl to keep her warm.

The shawl is Dragonfly wings free pattern on Ravelry and the yarn is Posh Hannah.

Phew think that is the update so far. I'll let you know how Mr mog gets on at the hospital.

Yule giveaway

I decided to do a giveaway for Yule to celebrate the turn of the wheel. You will find the item further down this post:)

I decided to pass Minerva, my shop model, on to a new home as she was a little too large for the craft room and too heavy when she needed moving. I obviously still needed something to display the shawls on so I decided to go for something a little more dainty.

Meet Dorothea. Why Dorothea? That is what she said she is called and who am I to argue with that?

 I didn't like the duck egg blue or the black areas where the paint had rubbed off so the paints came out. I think this will be a very slow project and goodness knows how I will get the inside part painted. All ideas gratefully received. I'm starting with purple as a base coat then will add various Lumiere metallics and irridescents. Then finally a sparkle.

 As you can see there is rather a long way to go yet.

I seem to be a little better thankfully. I had a chest X-ray on Friday, results tomorrow. The infection appears to be gone but I still have a very wheezy,tight chest. Possibly the asthma lingering rather than leaving with the infection which it usually does.
The doctor  didn't know why I was still ill hence the X-ray. I'm hoping this may be the end of infections for the Winter.
Mr Mog succumbed to it as well, after all it seemed unfair to keep it to myself, he also is getting over it now.

So Yule or Winter Solstice. The shortest day, longest night of the year. A time to celebrate the turn of the wheel as it heads towards the light half of the year . I recently finished a new shawl and as the colours remind me of Holly I thought it might be a good gift for someone. It is quite a large shawl and very warm. The yarn is Zauberball 4ply so it isn't too heavy despite the size.

 If you would like to be considered for the giveaway please leave a comment. I'll choose the winner on the 8th December which will hopefully give time for the shawl to get to you before Yule

 I haven't shown any spinning lately have I?  This first one is oatmeal BFL dyed in the copper colour way by Freyalyn I love her dyeing she has a great eye for colour. There are 590yards here and it weighs 104g

 This is merino silk from the Threshing Barn There are 475yards and 117g here.

I seem to have a bit of a thing for merino silk at the moment. I've some of Freyalyns copper in Merino silk waiting to be spun up. There is merino silk on Tilly Traveller and Merino silk on the Victoria also.

Still here

Sorry it has been quiet, I am still here. Mr Mog is doing well and his energy levels are a little better. He had a flu jab 2 weeks ago when I did and it made him a little off for a few days but he is a lot better now. I sadly am not. As you may or may not know we always have flu jabs because of my chest problems. Normally we get away with a sore arm and that is it. Last year we didn't and it laid us both low for a week. This year was much worse. I started to become ill around 2 hours after the injection and by evening was very bad. I rang the doctors next day to be told by the triage nurse it was a coincidence, give it a few days you will be ok. Next day Saturday we had to ring emergency doctor, I eded up with antibiotics. Tuesday much worse Mr Mog had to call in doctor, he asked for home visit was told ok if triage nurse says, she will ring back. Two three hours later the nurse rang and kindly allowed that we could have home visit. Doctor gave me new inhaler and steroids. Friday antibiotics finished. Steroids due to finish next day and no better. Doctor appointment after triage nurse assessed,more antibiotics more steroids. Still minimal sleep each night. I have to go back Tuesday for chest X-ray if no better. I had a little better day yesterday but then bad night and today is worse if anything. It would appear that I may have caught a viral infection as well as the effects of the flu Injection. Very very long time since I have ever felt as ill. Poor Mr Mog is shattered as of course he is doing everything and I am keeping him awake every night. So how are you?

Long ago memories

I woke this morning with long ago memories and 2 songs.

A little background first, bear with me.

When a  very small child I first contracted my health problems. I spent many a time in hospital from a baby and had quite a lot of operations.

It was decided that a spell of convalescence and a change of air might help. I lived in a small village near a mill town so not a really bad place health wise. However at the age of seven I was sent to the Lake District, Cumberland as it then was, to a school for delicate children. 

As an aside I went back many years later to see what it looked like and it was then a school for maladjusted children. It wasn't when I was there though:)

 Can you imagine what it was like in the late 50s being sent at such an age to a strange place? Not coming home for holidays? I stayed there for nearly 2 years.

 My 2 uncles who were lorry drivers came to see me often and that was wonderful. My dad came once on his moped as he didn't drive, I think that was all. I didn't recognise him and didn't want to see this strange man who had arrived. I can remember making my self sick so I could finish the visit early. I never saw my mum until I went home after the almost 2 years I was there. By then she had had 2 more children so from having 3 brothers and sisters I now had 5.

 Once I got used to the castle I loved it, I loved the woodlands that the castle was situated in and spent lots of time out there. My bedroom was a shared small dormitory in one of the turrets.  We had wonderful staff and I found myself at the top of the class in our school. The teachers there instilled my love of reading and creating. I can remember weaving a scarf for my nanny, orange and vivid turquoise and she wore it:) I spent a fair bit of time in bed with various ailments but books and crafts  helped take me away from the pain and discomfort.

 When it came time to go home I cried, I wanted to stay there. The local doctor used to take me home to play with his children and one of the nurses and the main teacher ( Nurse Walker and Miss Crawford I think? ) were very kind and helped make the place not so frightening.

 I can remember that it was for 7-11 year olds and the Cumbrian air was supposed to be beneficial for rheumatic fever, asthma and other ailments. As to that I don't really know but I think it certainly instilled a love of the Lake District that has never left me.

 It seemed strange going home, it wasn't my home and there were more people in it which made it crowded as we were exceedingly poor and lived in a 2 bedroom house with no electricity. My grandsons find it amusing that we had gas lighting, an outside loo that also housed a pig in between our necessary visits and if you got up in the night to go to the toilet and played the torch light on the living room walls they were crawling with cockroaches. My dad didn't work, he never did much in all the time I knew him. My mum went to work in between pregnancies but there wasn't much money.

So what were the songs?

I presume the other children taught them me, I certainly didn't make them up.

I had rheumatic fever, I had it very bad
They wrapped me in a blanket and put me in a van
The van was very shaky it nearly threw me out
and when I got to Broughton Towers I heard the kiddies shout
"Mummy , daddy take me home
from this convalescent home
I've been here a year or two and all I want is to be with you
In comes the doctor, Doctor Brown
asking questions all around.
Are you better?
Are you worse?
If you're worse I'll call the nurse
In comes the nurse with a red hot poultice
slaps it on and takes no notice
Ow said the patient that's too hot
Oh said the nurse I'm sure its not

That is all I can remember of that one
And the second one?

There is a happy land far far away
Where we get bread and jam three times a day
Fish and chips you never see
dirty black beetles in your tea
but they are gradually
fading away
fading away

Wollmeise giveaway

I am giving away another 2 skeins of wollmeise. I started a shawl test knit for a girl on Ravelry in a skein of turquoise/green WM and it is awful:( Feels like cotton, very splitty yarn and not nice at all to knit with. Now searching round to find a NICE semi solid for the test knit. I need between 420 and 460 yards so most of my sock yarn skeins are too short.
But if you want the  splitty, cottony (VBG) WM leave a comment. I'll draw winners Friday