The physical? Constant pain in all my joints that pain killers just aren't helping.
The mental? Really struggling to stay positive and sane, I feel very vulnerable at the moment and low. I know why, I know its the pain and the cancer stuff all becoming a wee bit too much.
I've been working on the PMA and most of the time I cope, but lately its become harder and harder.
Yesterday I decided enough was enough. Breaking into tears for no reason is reason enough to try and do something about it. I've hung on from visiting the doctors as it seemed a little bit of a cop out to do so.
BUT my ill health isn't helping either of us. I know I can't be upbeat all the time and indeed I don't expect to be so. I just want to be able to cope better than I have been doing.
So I've done something about it, I've made an appointment with the doctor, the best doctor in the practice in my opinion. She only works part time so the appointment is next Friday the 13th. I'd rather wait and see a sympathetic person who knows my history and knows what is going on with my life.
Just making the move has helped me, knowing I'm not ignoring a problem but trying to do something about it.
I need to be well to help Mr Mog, but also to help myself.
The past 2 weeks have been horrendous, the hospital visits have been ok but the reason for them isn't. Add to the Mr Mog worries this pain and weariness for me that would be enough but there is also family stuff going on and that compounds the worry.
I know I can't help everyone but it is hard to stand back.
Anyway that's off my chest so lets move on shall we?
Oh just one other thing, this morning our next but one neighbour died suddenly. We are good friends with all the family so it was a great shock for us both. We have just come home from paying our condolences and it was so hard:( They were a very close couple, a very close family and they are devastated. You never know what to say on these occasions do you? But I think it is important to be there for people and just let them know your door is open.
What else can one do?
I haven't done much spinning due to the pain and not too much knitting but socks are on the go once more to accompany the hospital visits.
So thats good isn't it?