April 10, 2012
Finding it very hard at the moment to get through . Really stressed with all the hospital appointments and constant worry over Mr Mog.
Being very sore doesn't help but it is the constant worry over his health that gets me at the minute. I want to work a magic spell to make him better. I want to wave a wand and say abracadabra it is all ok.
I can't and it makes me feel helpless. I want to scream and shout. I want to do something . I feel angry I feel furious even. It isn't fair, it shouldn't be happening to such a lovely man, a gentle soul and my soul mate. I waited all these years and lived through 2 abusive marriages and a very bad childhood to find him.
It was worth it, more than worth it and I want many more years of his company and his love.
Yes I am selfish, I am glad to be so.
Today as you can probably tell is a bad one.
I have made a doctors appointment for Friday partly for my joint problems but also for my mental health.
The PMA is still very much here it's not gone away I am feeling vulnerable that's all.