April 10, 2012

sigh

Blog post
Finding it very hard at the moment to get through . Really stressed with all the hospital appointments and constant worry over Mr Mog.
Being very sore doesn't help but it is the constant worry over his health that gets me at the minute. I want to work a magic spell to make him better. I want to wave a wand and say abracadabra it is all ok.
I can't and it makes me feel helpless. I want to scream and shout. I want to do something . I feel angry I feel furious even. It isn't fair, it shouldn't be happening to such a lovely man, a gentle soul and my soul mate. I waited all these years and lived through 2 abusive marriages and a very bad childhood to find him.
It was worth it, more than worth it and I want many more years of his company and his love.
Yes I am selfish, I am glad to be so.


Today as you can probably tell is a bad one.
I have made a doctors appointment for Friday partly for my joint problems but also for my mental health.
The PMA is still very much here it's not gone away I am feeling vulnerable that's all.

8 comments:

Puddytat purr said...

You have every right to be selfish - why shouldn't you be?

You're supposed to have many many blissful years together when you find THE ONE, how dare this crappy disease come along and steal that from you both!

I think of you both every day xxx

Roobeedoo said...

((((((((HUGS)))))))))

Blue Witch said...

Oh Amber. I so feel for you - you are living my worst nightmare.

Have you got an allocated Macmillan or Marie Curie Nurse? Could you ask your GP about that on Friday if not?

Love and healing thoughts to you both.

fabricfan said...

I am thinking of you and your loved one.

Sea said...

Make the most of what you have, as I'm sure you are doing. I'll light a candle for you both.

Anonymous said...

Strength and love to you.

Anonymous said...

Sending hugs.....

Compostwoman said...

((((HUGS))))