On pain and it's effects.

What do doctors know of pain?
The way it leeches through your veins

Weeks of constant pain. Neck, head, back.
Lots of combinations of pills trying to alleviate it somewhat.
Feelings of discomfort and malaise in all I do.
Trips to doctor and optician trying to rectify whatever it is that is suddenly violently there.
Migraine diagnosis from doctor despite it being nothing like any form of migraine I've had in the past.
Anti-inflammatories given.
Trip to optician, yes eyes slightly changed. Is it enough to cause the severe headaches?
New prescription glasses - picked up today.
Anti inflammatory pills crease my stomach, no use taking pills to counter that as they make me sick.
Cut anti-inflammatory pills from 3 to 2 per day. No difference and still no lessening of pain.
Add in strong painkillers, stomach more discomfort.
Cut anti inflammatory pills to 1 per day, mix in paracetamol. No difference.
Stop anti-inflammatory, stop constant strong pain killers.
New cocktail one strong painkiller per day rest of the day paracetamol.
No stomach problems, that is good yes?
Not much help on back, neck and head pain though.
Question, do i go back? Have not taken anti-inflammatory pills as directed or for long enough so no point there.
Do I soldier on with my self help oils, healing, deep heat cream and paracetamol with occasional strong painkiller when it all becomes too much?
If I do go back it will be more anti-inflammatory pills of a different name - same pack drill same side effects. They will still make me ill. I think I've tried all forms now.
Or, will it be stronger pain killers, for side effects see above and they make me zombified. Is that a word? Who cares it describes it exactly.
What ever I do will not be a full solution.
So do I go the chemical or the natural way? Knowing that either will only alleviate part of the problem.
I would rather go the no chemical route, or just paracetamol. Better for stomach, better for inner child and her mind.
Can I cope doing so when days and nights merge in a red hot maelstrom of hurt, discomfort and pain?
Did I mention pain?
Nights are extremely long when you don't or can't sleep. There aren't as many distractions as the day holds. I can't distract myself in the night with reading, knitting or the like. I do have to try to get some form of rest after all.
My weary body calls out for rest, relief and cessation of the eternal pain.
What to do, what to do.
Watch this space. I WILL crack it some day.
After all it has only been half a century or more of this.
I can cope.
I can fight.
I am not giving up, no not me.
I can't.
I won't
You can't make me.

In praise of creative friends

This post is all about friends and their creativity specifically one friend:)
As many of you know i have the most fantastically creative Calligrapher friend Pixie Sue.
Despite being registered blind Sue creates the most inspiring work. We went to visit her today and just look what she made for us:)
The pictures don't show the subtle glitter on the canvas. It radiates an aura of well being and yes calm:)Sue is the most incredible artist, I love her canvases and her books.
I feel so honoured to own this piece. Thank you Sue.

We had a gorgeous drive over to Sues, misty and a little wet for part of the journey but coming back over Bowes Moor and the A66 the skies were stunning. such rich fire colours across the horizon and when the dragons breath started to form it was magical. I love that period at dusk, the twilight when you see things differently. Shapes form and disappear if you gaze at the hillsides. Not if you are the one driving I hasten to add.
So all in all a delightful day with very good company:)

Femmes, shawls and spinning.

Thanks for the comments:) No I don't have an etsy shop. I don't make the femmes on a regular basis only when the muse strikes so it wouldn't be practical.The other thing is that I firmly believe they go to those that need them if you understand me? I am always happy to trade for other items though. Not necessarily the most obvious things. For example I was looking for dyes the other day. Also I can always use fabulous beads and charms for making them. You can always make suggestions(VBG)
Well it is pouring it down here today. The roads are flooded and it is black outside. Not a going out day for me I fear. I've finished a shawl or two for you to see though.
Firstly with my own handspun which is always a nice thing to be able to say. This was some fibre from Feltstudio UK, Falkland fibre. I purchased it from a friend on Ravelry who was having a destash.


Only a little shawl but very warm. Haven't blocked as we have had rain for over a week now.
Then I've made an autumn femme for a dear friend of mine. It used my first hand spun art yarn which I helped to make while visiting another friend down in Wales. the femme's name is Enid, a Welsh name meaning tree bark apparently which is rather appropriate seeing the colours I've used.


I've done several pictures with and without flash as it is so dark here. Enid wears a cloak of autumn colours to reflect the beauty of the trees around her.
On her back she carries a broomstick and a cauldron. The broomstick is to sweep away all negativity from the place she wants to set down her cauldron to create.
She is quite at home among the ivy as the woodlands are her natural home.
She wears a colour changing Celtic cross, this reflects her mood as she spins and dyes her fibre for garments.
When not working with fibre Enid can be found enjoying good music and good company, she is a very sociable femme.

Then as I said shawls plural. This is the second one. Made using a mix of wool clip mohair I purchased, again, in a ravelry destash together with some filatura di crosa multicolor in green shades. not easy to show a full picture but it is a fabulous colour in real life.



a close up of the bottom edge.
Here you get some idea of the pattern. I'm pleased with my modifications on my original shawl idea. I'll definitely make this again. I'm thinking of adding beads to the bottom edge.
Then I finished spinning some fibre I purchased from Artis Anne while in Wales. I forgot to photograph it before plying. I plyed with a strand of fine lurex iridescent thread and a strand of dark blue fine mohair.
What do you think?

Enough for? yes you have guessed , most probably a shawl:)

Femmes and Samhain giveaway winner.

The following femmes are still awaiting new homes, each link takes you to the appropriate post. post
Mackentia femme of the flames,
Sediana
Marinanna
Hollea
Ilyana femme of the winter sunset
Fireca femme of the winter sunrise
Indigo ocean femme
I'd love them to find new homes for Yule:)
We put the names of all who commented in October into a witches hat and the winner of the shawl is


Earthenwitch:)
Congratulations, please send your address and I'll post the shawl to you.

Wanted Lendrum spinning wheel

I want to buy a Lendrum or would trade for one if anyone knows of one? I want a folding wheel with the 3 flyers for lace, plying and normal yarn.
I tried the lendrum at Artis Annes on our visit to Wales this past weekend and it is so much easier for me to change bobbins especially when my hands are so painful. We had a fabulous visit as we always do. Lots of laughter and good food. Late nights due to said chatting but such fun. Both Mr Mog and I learnt so much while we were there from them both. We now love the idea of spinning from fleece and not just from prepared rovings. It was very exciting to see Mr Mog carding and spinning fleece. He is totally hooked.

Wear Pink Day

My blog colours have been changed in honour of Wear Pink Day, the breast cancer campaign tomorrow.
Have you checked your breasts lately? This cancer can affect anyone male or female. Don't let it be you

Looking for pagan and goddess charms

I am looking for pagan and goddess charms if anyone has a good cheap source or if anyone would like to trade any? I want pentacles, blessed be, pagan, horned god/triple moon and such like

Bartering for femmes and inspiration

In answer to many emails regarding the latest femme series I would certainly love to barter for them. I am always looking for gorgeous fibre for spinning or luscious yarn to knit with. I also love other peoples art. I f you wanted to trade for a femme do please contact me. We are all connected within this web of creativity and it is good to see and own other folk's art.
Inspiration, where do you find it?
I love to be among trees or by the sea. I enjoy colour and most especially vibrant colours.
I find that after creating femmes I need to top up my inspiration chests. It is almost as if I use up all the colour and ideas within and need more.
A while in my favourite habitats fills me with wonder and joy. It stops me feeling too drained emotionally when finishing a piece.

Maiden to Crone series femmes #4 Sediana

Introducing the fourth femme in my moon time series.
Meet Sediana.
Sediana is the most feared aspect of the triple goddess series, the Crone. For many women entering cronehood was a trial and a horror, not something to be welcomed. And yet, this is a powerful time in our lives. One where we have much knowledge to share and nothing like the same demands on our time. Possibly some of the fear is that we are nearing the end of our present life on this planet. However, don't forget that from death always comes rebirth. Watch how in nature when a tree casts it's old leaves away you can see the trace of buds for new life.
In our lives that can be something as simple as letting go of a negative or draining object to allow in new potential.
Because we have entered cronehood we are not old. We still have sparkle and colour. We are still warm blooded with passion.
She has a wrapped robe to remind us that in cultures across the world there are taboos. We need to honour them but not let them bind us.
Sediana wears a pendant that says Dream, this is to remind us that we need to dream. From dreams come explanations and ideas to use within our physical lives. Listen to your dreams they can tell you so much.
She has a wolf in one hand, wolves are a pack creature. We need others around us to help nurture our inner child at any age. The wolf can also carry her should she need a little help.
Her cloak carries a serpent shape and beads of blood. There is also a path if you look carefully. Is this a reminder of your path, do you need help to find the way?

I hope you have enjoyed a view of my impressions of the moon time femmes. That is just what it is BTW, my impressions. Yours are probably totally different.
That doesn't make either of us correct, it just means there are many ways of seeing.
Mine is just one.

Maiden to Crone series femmes # 3 Hollea

Introducing the third femme in my moon time series.
Meet Hollea.
Hollea represents to me a most powerful aspect of the Goddess. She is still extremely sexual ,and aware of it, yet being beyond childbearing days her sexuality is entirely for pleasure and not for procreation. The bee and beehive necklet she wears is a reminder of her fertility and her link to the great chain but is in no way a burden. As with the earlier femmes she too carries the wooden staff for grounding. Her clothes are a deeper red and filled with the energies of the colour. She brings all this energy with her to help you through all endeavours but reminds you that it doesn't have to be too serious all the time. We all need the freedom to have fun and enjoy life as well.
The back of her cloak has an outline of a heart and hanging from that heart a string of blood red beads. They mean so much to her as they are a reminder of her moon times and the strength she got from them. In fact she still does as her body is linked strongly with the moon phases. There are 3 metal hands attached to the cloak. They are symbolic of her place within the triple goddess pantheon of Maiden, Mother and Crone.

Welcoming her into your home helps to link you with what has gone before and what has still to come.

Maiden to Crone series femmes #2 Marinnana

Introducing the second femme in my moon time series.
Meet Marinnana.
Marinnana represents our most fertile stage, the mother figure. Her fertility is at its fullest strength and power. Part of her name is Innana to honour the great Goddess of sexual love and of course fertility. She brings energy and life force to all she touches. Her power is still a little erratic but more focused.
She carries the wooden staff of her ancestors also, a means of ensuring that throughout all her workings of the great mysteries she is rooted firmly on the earth. Her pendant is the Goddess Isis, the wings outstretched to signify her nurturing and protective aspects.

The back of her cloak carries blood red beads and embroidery as a means of showing her fertility. With her by your side on your journey she will bring the energy and nurturing you require within your life.

Maiden to Crone series Femmes #1 RoseTAKEN

Introducing the first femme in my moon time series.
Meet Rose.
Rose represents our first flowering. Our first period and the changes that occur then. The Maiden aspect of the Goddess.
Her clothes have the blush of pink still alongside the brighter reds that symbolise her passage into womanhood. She wears a bronze pendant of the goddess to remind her that she too is a daughter of the moon as are her mother, grandmother and all her female line.

She carries a wooden spear or staff as did her mother before her. It links her to the earth and helps to balance her as she begins her journey into fertility.
The 2 hands on the edge of her cloak are a symbol of her connection to the past and also to the future. She is a link in the chain of life.The decoration on her cloak is a reflection of the journey she will take. Not always a straight path but a good path.
She brings new hope and creativity to her new home. Understanding that new beginnings can be a way forward for us all.
Rose will soon be on her way to her new home