Mothers day tears
Sad because I fear for my sons state of mind. He is a recovered(ing) drug addict. He has been clean for 3 years now after being really ill through abuse of drugs. Sadly he has no friends as he came away from the drug scene. He finds it hard to make friends , he has no confidence and very few social skills. He has always been attention deficient and hyper active. He is now mid thirties. We have tried to involve him in new activities, volunteering and the like. The couple of friends he made when living in a religious community seem to have moved on and he is finding it hard to let them. Especially one girl who he was pretty close to. Today when he came he found it hard to keep the tears away as did I. I feel he is losing the will to keep going on. I don't know what to do after all he isn't a child any more. When he left to go home I had this fear that he would slip back into the drug scene through having nothing else. I also had a very vivid dream 2 days ago involving a man who I knew used to be a casual drug user. I haven't seen him for many many years, he was only someone who I knew in passing so not surprising I wouldn't remember him. He came into this dream to tell me that my son was heading towards drugs again. It was such a vivid dream that it felt like a warning.
I can't live his life for him, I know that but also I can't ignore my worries for him. I don't want him back living with us, that wouldn't help me or DH as my health is enough some days to worry over. And he is not easy to live with demanding attention allbeit unintentionally. I thibnk this post is just to try and get my fears out of my head and face them.
Knitting to follow