Apparaently the cancer is back and outside the prostate. This in just 3 months.
He is back on the stomach injections and today has an MRI or CT scan, not sure which as they rang yesterday with a cancellation and I my brain is not where it should be.
He has a bone scan planned in 2 weeks and then we go back to see the consultant soon after that. That appointment will tell us the extent of the cancer and what treatment there can be.
He can't have radiotherapy again so it will most probably be chemo.
I don't know what to do, how to comfort him when I am also very frightened. Scared that I will lose the man I love and the man I waited so long to find.
Scared of the battle he(we) may have to fight and how I can do everything I can to make it better.
I want to be able to kiss him better, to rub the hurt away some how and I can't.
This limbo time waiting for things to be done is the worst I think. Once we know we can fight it, we have something to fight against.
Now it is just trying to get through the days until we can see the enemy and where it has travelled.
This f%&*%*g cancer is such a nasty disease. It attacks in all ways and you never see it coming.
Faith kind of slips a little when you get news like this.
How are you supposed to attack it like it attacks your loved ones?
Is there anything I am missing? A piece of the jigsaw waiting to be found?We aren't sleeping as you can imagine. I'm trying to keep Mr Mog distracted with lunches out with like minded friends and the like but I know that doesn't really do much.
Still you have to try.
He has been very tired for the past few months and has a really bad back, of course my mind is linking it with the disease. Not to him, to Mr Mog I smile and try to be positive.
But sometimes the mind has a will of its own.