Here and now

In the here and now life goes on as go on it must.

What have we done? Let me think. 

We had a week in a lodge in the Lake District and the weather was glorious every day.

 

We didn't do lots each day as Mr Mog tires easily but we went to Carlisle and then the model railway shop in Wigton before heading back to the lodge.

One day we visited Mr Mogs mother although she didn't know us sadly:( it was very sad and There were tears shed but at least Mr Mog got to see her. She is still with us and at 97 that's not a bad thing.

We spun a little each day, and yes I do have a new spinning wheel. A Kiwi 2 that I have decorated. I found I missed my spinning dreadfully as its a perfect meditation tool and thought that if I just did a little each day it may be ok. Touch wood so far so good.

We celebrated the Solstice moon with tremendous views of moon and hills and spent lots of enjoyable hours watching the clouds chase across the sky.

We listened to owls and watched bats swooping low across the balcony as the sun went down.

We spent almost 2 days at Woolfest and that was the highlight of the holiday for us both. Catching up with all our many friends, most of whom we hadn't seen since last Woolfest due to being unable to go to Wonderwool in April. 

There were lots of laughs and quite a few tears, mostly as this Woolfest may be the last we spend together. 

One of the highlights for me was finally meeting up with a blogger friend from over the Border NewRoobeedoo

That caused more tears to flow. I never thought we would get to meet, just shows you. Roo was exactly as I thought she would be and I look forward to meeting up again soon.

Woolfest is always inspiring and this years show  was as good as ever.

For me it's always been about catching up with friends, the buying opportunities come second to it. I did buy some fabulous merino and Zwarbles fibre from John Arbon as I couldn't resist the softness or the colour.

When we returned home I did some more decluttering and filled a large tub with the contents of my incense cupboard. Over 45 years of incense making ingredients. We don't make incense now, or do incense making workshops and it's over 12 months since I made any. I tend to use oils in my diffuser instead.

I also cleared out most of my essential oils apart from a first aid kits worth and my diffuser ones. The oils went to my friend who does aromatherapy and massage. She used two of them on me at that weeks massage:)

The incense ingredients went to a pagan friend this last weekend when we attended Pagancon . First time I've been for a few years and there were some quite interesting talks and workshops  we took a friend of ours who is exploring his beliefs and is interested in furthering his pagan faith. Mr Mog went for the first half of day then I dropped him at our friends and I went back for a couple of hours. I didn't stay for the evening which was a shame as Damh the Bard and Cernunnos rising were playing. But I have CDs of both so that's ok. George Nicholas from Cernunnos rising did a fabulous very large painting and talk about the charity he works with Art for their sake. I have mentioned them to the hospice that Mr Mog goes to as they are always looking for new projects.

Today I had to make an emergency appointment with the palliative pain clinic as Mr Mogs pain was worse. They actually fit him in this afternoon and the consultant has upped one of his drugs. I have also to arrange a series  of blood tests for him. Oh and I made an appointment for hospital for later this week to have the back brace remoulded as that may help. Mr Mog has lost some more weight and is just over 10stone now. This also makes the brace more uncomfortable for him as its loose.

Think that brings us up to date. To be honest I am just trying to enjoy each day we have. After all that's all everyone has isn't it? The here and now.

There has been some knitting . I finished yet another shawl in a perfect colour for Lammas.

Each day a day to be savoured

The days of feeling in limbo are over. I made the conscious decision to just enjoy each day as it came and that has helped me. We don't know how long Mr Mog has but then none of us do, do we? Letting go of the intensity of cancer made each day much brighter  although -being human - there are still snot and tears days. Not just for me but for both of us. We are enjoying going out as and when, not far but just being able to go places is good. Mr Mog gets tired easily and the pain is always present. I am also sleeping better. I have booked a lodge for a week next week to coincide with Woolfest. We both wanted to go but I thought 2 days would be too much for Mr Mog and on top of that couldn't find a B&B. In the end I decided to book a week away. Means Mr Mog can go to Woolfest but as the lodge is only around 20 minutes away I can take him back when he is weary.
If anyone is going please do let me know:) I know one long time online friend is going so we will meet for the first time. Can't remember when I started to read her blog but many many moons ago. Can't wait to meet face to face:)
I have been creating since we last spoke. Not so much knitting because of my hands but my thoughts and imagination have been going in different channels. I've been up cycling . What do you think?

 This is my latest, in honour of the moon Goddess Selene.

Thoughts

 Life has been hectic, not always in a good way

It seems to have been a constant round of medical things and appointments. If it hasn't been Macmillan, it's been hospice at home, or doctor or district nurses. Add in palliative pain clinic and you can see where the days went to.

Most of these things are being set in place for when needed and it's reassuring to know. But it got so every day seemed to have something going on.

We have settled down a little now though and are trying to enjoy the days. We were hoping to go to Wonderwool in Wales this weekend but it's too far and will be too exhausting for Mr Mog so we made the decision to stay at home. Both of us very sad as we love meeting up with friends at the wool festivals.

Mr Mog now goes to the day hospice one day a week which gives me a day , well 10 until 3, to do my own thing. I am now driving all the time as Mr M is not allowed behind the wheel, something that upset him greatly as he loved driving..

I've not been knitting much as wrists are still fragile but I have been playing in my art journal as you can see. It gives me a good deal of satisfaction to splash paint and glue about. 

I never have anything in mind when I start but prefer to see "what if"

Health wise Mr Mog is not doing too bad, very weary and sore but no worse than he was. We know it can't last but are enjoying the now. He has put some weight back on which is good. I've lost some more and that's not a bad thing for me either.

So what have you lot been up to?